You see the photo of us above.
This was when we officially started our own life together.
Marriage. Buying a house. Just us.
Just months after being married, we knew we wanted our finances to be the LAST place we held any anger, shame, or contention.
We only knew this because it was the first place we held those emotions.
I wanted to talk about money, he didn’t.
He had his thoughts about money, and I didn’t feel the same way.
After we calmed our emotions and head, we talked.
We didn’t want this.
We didn’t want to feel this way about money AND we didn’t want to feel this way in our marriage.
You could say there was much fear around this.
Fear of being so vulnerable (so vulnerable that it feels like we are putting our life on the line) about money and open that door of a whole other level of intimacy that we never knew we could feel.
The fear of what if we didn’t go there with each other.
What was at stake? Our marriage. Our life together. Our future family.
We took a moment and talked about which fear was scarier.
Which one do you think we chose?
Holy—scary—but we decided this fear was well worth feeling rather than never having our life together.
We chose to team up, be unguarded and take action TOGETHER.
We took a small course, that TRULY changed our life, but we didn’t now how much it TRULY changed our life until we have the time and space to look at what we have achieved since then.
Since November 2011, we’ve set the intention with our money.
Yes, a budget.
We’ve looked at our income.
We’ve looked at our expenses.
Then planned where we wanted our money to go.
Over the last four-and-a-half years this has included a trip to Costa Rica, personal trainers, hundreds of thousands of dollars going toward debt, and the expansion of our family.
This weekend as we sat and completed our budget, I want to dive into what feeling came up.
We were snuggled into the couch, with our computer in hand, the other with our phone calendar (to see the pay cycles), and our bank app.
We talked about our daughter’s birthday at the end of the month, personal money, regular expenses like our mortgage, propane, HOA, just name a few.
We were nearing the end, and this little voice crept in and said,
“Ugh, our money always goes.”
I caught myself immediately, and just sat there for a moment.
Money comes, too.
Our mind is so quick to focus on the negative.
In my moment of sitting and silence, what if we looked at our money like energy?
When we walk into a room, we flip the switch on so we can see. The energy flows in and allows the light to turn on and stay on because the energy is on a circuit and it has a constant flow.
MONEY HAS THE SAME PURPOSE!
To come in, to go out, to FLOW.
We can impose the power we want our money to have.
We CHOOSE where it goes.
We CHOOSE what feels good.
We CHOOSE to account for every dollar we make assign it a purpose.
When we choose the intention behind our money, we infuse it with impact.
We get to honor ourselves, our spouse, our family, and the world.
I ask yourself, go back to that inner fear and ask yourself which one has the impact you want to make.
You know the answer.
With Love, Light & A Virtual High Five