Just two days ago I got on a plane for a weekend retreat with leaders and soul sisters to love, learn and grow together.
But this trip felt more tender than others I’ve been on.
My daughter, Louise, has been in this super-clingy-mom-stage. Only wanting Momma in the morning, at night, and every second of the day.
As I woke up Friday morning, to catch the bus to the airport, I went into her bedroom to say good-bye.
I put my hand on her belly feeling her little breathe go in and out. Looking at her tiny soon-to-be two year old face, I said my prayer for her to have the best time with Papa (her daddy) and to be safe and have fun at Mimi and Gappa’s.
Tears roll down my cheek thinking what if she wakes in the night and wanting Momma. Worried her food wouldn’t be cut small enough, and how much TV she would be watching.
I felt scared-scared I would miss something in her life.
I felt sad-sad at the thought she would need me and I wouldn’t be there.
I felt vulnerable-vulnerable because I was asking others for help.
Even with the feelings above, I knew this trip would help serve my purpose. I knew it would give me life in my business and help me be a better version of myself.
It did way more than that.
Throughout this trip we’ve Face Timed, and I’ve chatted and texted my husband.
The Face Times were chaos with her cousins happily and boisterous eating lunch and playing together.
The chats were filled with validations of how well she was doing and Papa stepping into his role, wholeheartedly, as the wonderful father he is.
Texts about my daughter running out to give Gappa more hugs before bedtime and not coming back because Gappa was asleep and she was having a BLAST jumping on the family HUGE dog bed.
See, as hard as it was for me to say yes to my dreams, to come to Virginia and be amongst leaders and soul sisters it was part of something so much bigger.
I filled my heart with love, my mind with wisdom, I actually said yes to so much more.
I said YES to my personal growth so I can be a better Momma, wife and leader and businesswoman.
I said YES to my daughter snuggling her papa when she woke in the night.
I said YES to Mimi and Gappa making memories and sharing love with their youngest granddaughter.
I said YES the giggles, playtimes, and ice cream dates with cousins, aunts, and uncles.
AND biggest of all, I am modeling to my daughter – a future woman, wife, mother – that it IS scary to say yes to your dreams and what your soul is calling you to do, BUT it is okay and to continue doing it even if it is scary, sad and vulnerable.
The ripple effect of our choices are beyond our ability to understand in the now. It isn’t until we make the leap and watch the impact of our decision.
It takes love, courage, and the awareness to your dreams to help you continue forward.
Sending You Love, Light & Virtual High Five